


The Shressay

by ermayzing



Series: The Shrek Chronicles [7]
Category: Shrek Series
Genre: Essays, Gen, Patronus, i may have snuck in a DBZ abridged reference in there, layers, spells, stressful situations i guess, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-07
Updated: 2015-12-07
Packaged: 2018-05-05 09:31:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5370329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ermayzing/pseuds/ermayzing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Albus Dumbledore must write a song to be on the Shrek soundtrack if he wishes to be hired as Shrek's "extra layer."</p><p>This is the story of his struggle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Shressay

**Author's Note:**

> written on April 29, 2015.

Now, if you asked Shrek, Dumbledore sure wasn’t the sharpest knife in the crayon box. But he could definitely write.

Shrek remembers when he first hired him. Although Albus had already been with him for decades, Shrek knew he had to follow procedure. Before hiring someone for the position of his “extra layer,” Shrek always ran a test. The test was to write a song for the Shrek soundtrack.

At first, Dumbledore had been confused. “Don’t play games with me, Shrek,” he said. “Every song on the face of the earth could have made it onto the soundtrack.

“Not every song,” Shrek admitted. Dumbledore only rolled his eyes.

Nonetheless, he wrote something. Dumbledore had dreamed ever since he was a child that _one day_ he would have the opportunity to work beside The Ogrelord. And now was his chance.

He stayed in that one room for 600 years, working on that song. Shrek was starting to get worried. One day, he opened the door, and gasped.

“Albus?” Shrek whispered. Albus let out a blood-curdling screech that echoed throughout the swamp. Shrek’s eyes narrowed, and he went into battle mode.

Shrek pulled his skateboard from his back pocket and slammed it on the ground, then put on his helmet.

“Safety first,” Shrek growled in a menacing tone, before zooming straight forward.

Albus lept into the air, doing a flip. His long mane flowed in the breeze as he flew around the room. A fierce wizard battle cry rang throughout the room as he screamed, “ACCIO BROOMSTICK AND WAND!”

Shrek watched him in awe as he casted his patronus. A single tear ran along Shrek’s green cheek as he took in the sight before him.

Albus hovered in mid air, watching Shrek. Prancing through the air was a blue, glowing patronus of an onion. Shrek and Dumbledore locked eyes.

“It’s beautiful, Albus,” Shrek broke the silence.

Albus slowly descended, and stepped forward. Handing Shrek his wand, he whispered, “Shrek, cast your patronus.”

“I don’t know if I can…”

“Just do it.”

Shrek sighed deeply and took the wand from his hand. He closed his big brown ogre eyes and got ready. He hadn’t casted his patronus in over 9000 years.

His eyes darted open and his head snapped up, and with a big mighty ogre roar, he yelled it.

“EXPECTO PATRONUM!”

Albus was blown away by the blast of energy which reverberated throughout the room. Literally.

A colossal onion rolled back and forth through the room and Shrek smiled. This was the moment.

Suddenly, catching sight of Albus, his patronus disappeared. He dashed over, kneeling next to the man with the 99 foot beard.

“Albus,” he cried.

“Yes, Shrek?”

“You’re hired.”

Albus cried that day.


End file.
